i don’t know, i don’t know…

Oh, by the way, I’m a reality television star.

Last week I was sitting around holed up in my apartment and I texted little Mikey something to the effect of “I’m bored, help.” Surprisingly, my text was not ignored, and I was actually graced not only with a response but with a PLAN. He informed me that I’d be joining him and his boyfriend at a gallery opening and that I didn’t have a choice in the matter.

I hoofed it down to the Lower East Side and met Mikey outside this mess of I line. There were people with clipboards and camera equipment and I was like, “Oh lordy, I don’t know if I can do this.” Mike explained that from what he heard some sort of MTV show reality show was filming and my first thought was, “Real World Brooklyn…? Let’s leave.” We then found out:

BAM! Now we’re talking. Without Tivo I have not really been able to sit through full episodes of The Hills anymore since I can’t justify all those commercials and blank stares and chewing without a fast forward button. For those not in the know, Whitney Port of The Hills is getting her own spin-off called The City based in… you guessed it: New York City. She never really played any role in the original series other than a tool for exposition but she at least seemed to be the least brainless (except that I’m convinced Lauren is secretly smart but that she plays down her intelligence because, like, that’s what girls are supposed to do, duh).

ANYWAYS, we had to sign waivers, take pictures, and were led into this very crowded studio with a pretty awesome DJ and FREE open bar (HELLO!). The art was cool, I met the artist, whatever blah blah blah. He said something like “Yeah, I don’t know what these cameras are all about, I don’t really pay attention to any of that MTV stuff.” Ok, yeah I know, you’re so alternative, I get it.

Whitney eventually showed up with this weird bedazzled headband thing worn around her forehead with some other girl who I recognize from the show but have no idea what her name is. She talked to some ~important people~. I’m sure Mike, Richard, and myself were in the background of at least some of her conversations but who knows. The three of us were definitely not cool enough for the party. I was “day look” J Crew-ed out from head to toe and feeling particularly heinous that day anyway, so we didn’t stay long and ended up having an incredible and CHEAP meal at Cooper 35. They had an amazing drink selection all for $4. UNHEARD of. I had a decent mojito served in huge pint glass.
I’m not sure when exactly I’ll make my reality television debut, but we’ll see what happens.